Do you like this story?
9 Tips For Surviving Tough Times In A Relationship!
We all have problems in life, whether it’s work, family or relationships, we can all get through the problems if we deal with them properly. Here is a list of suggestions in how to solve problems in a Relationship/Marriage in a calm and collected manner. Obviously all relationships and couples are different and have different ways of dealing with problems, so change these suggestions accordingly but remember that getting angry and irritated at eachother will get you nowhere.
1. Acknowledge and work at the problem.
Ignoring a problem may seem that the easy way out because you avoid confrontation, but it only makes things worse in the long run. Any feelings build up inside and eventually one of you will snap (believe me, I bottle up my emotions regularly and it ALWAYS backfires in the end). However, when things do get a little heated, don’t take your anger out on your spouse (even if it is their fault). Instead, try and discuss the problem rationally and come to the bottom of why it has happened in the first place. Facing your problems and admitting to your partner that there is a problem in the relationship and agreeing to work at it until a conclusion is made is definitely more appropriate to screaming your lungs out.
2. Acknowledge fear.
If you’re scared about the bills or your partner can’t fund the family this month then don’t put pressure on them/yourself. The key to a relationship is being comfortable around eachother so this means letting your partner see you at your best and worst. And perhaps talking to them about it and getting an outsiders opinion will make the situation seem a little less scary, because things are always easier to deal with when you’ve got someone supporting you.
3. Have emotional integrity in the relationship.
Basically this means don’t say it if you don’t mean it. This isn’t just with ‘I love you’ moments where perhaps one partner may lead the other into thinking they have feelings for them, but it is also for when someone may have made a mistake for example being unfaithful and have promised the partner that they won’t do it again. Don’t promise if you know you aren’t going to keep the promise. The simple way of dealing with this problem is just to think before you speak, be mature and think of the consequences of your actions.
4. List values, goals and priorities.
I know that some people live for the moment, which is completely fine and sometimes can be the less stressful way to live, however for a successful relationship you need to know what both partners want to gain out of their lives and relationship. Perhaps writing a little plan for yourself would be beneficial, so write one for your life (so jobs, money, things you want to do) and then write a seperate one for your relationship (perhaps marriage, children and moving in together, or maybe just things you want to do as a couple) would help with knowing what each person in the relationship wants. This way you don’t run into the problem of one person wanting a family and marriage and the other wanting to live on the edge and achieve their dreams before settling down.
5. Be willing to ask others for help.
We all want to feel independant and stable so sometimes we struggle alone thinking we can get through it. Most of the time this isn’t the case and can cause more problems than it is worse, especially with bigger problems. People have too much pride in relationships, so ditch the pride. At the end of the day, if your partner loves you they won’t think any differently of you for struggling or feeling overwhelmed with a problem. Like I mentioned before, if an outsider knows what you’re going through, they may be able to give an outsiders opinion and shine a whole different light on the situation, heck they may even be in the same boat as you.
For me this is probably the most important thing there is. If you don’t communicate with your partner, then in my opinion what’s the point in being with them? I mean people be together because they enjoy eachothers company, right? So ask him how his day was, find out what things he likes and doesn’t like. Make it your job to go out of your way to really get to know him. The more you know, the better you can get on with him. If there isn’t communication, things will get boring very fast and most likely fizzle out before you can say the word ‘relationship.’
7. Keep things interesting.
Again, a very important factor for me. As i’ve been in a relationship since I was 14, I’ve only ever known love with one person. Being together for nearly 5 years with someone, some people would often admit to becoming a tad bored. However, not me. I make sure that we do different things on a regular basis to keep the relationship alive. I’m not talking just sexually (however this is a huuuuuuuge factor too) but I mean like doing activities. These don’t have to be costly either, it can just be a walk around your local park, exercising together or meeting with friends at someones house for a film. These little things keep boredom at bay and therefore banish the irritation and problems that comes with being in a boring relationship.
8. Work at the relationship.
If neither of you put effort into the relationship, it will 98% fail if you really care about eachother. However, if only one person is making the effort and the other person isn’t, then this will make the person making the effort feel alone and frustrated. Both partners need to make equal effort in keeping the relationship afloat so both partners know they aren’t just wasting their time. Even the little things like paying eachother compliments, gestures like making a drink for the other person or making a meal once in a while are all good ways to show you still care.
9. Stay faithful and trustworthy.
This pretty much speaks for itself, if you cheat on your partner then he/she will realise that your mind is elsewhere. They will lose trust, and this is fatal to a relationship as trust in a relationship is like petrol to a car, it can’t run without it. Stay faithful to your parnter, and if things unfortunately do take a turn for the worst, try your best to make a decision that is right for YOU. If you feel like you can gain trust for your partner again, then that’s fine. But if in your mind you feel it may never be the same, then try to think rationally on your own, then discuss the matter with your partner. Remember, you may be angry at the time of finding out but you don’t want to be asking yourself ‘what could have come of that relationship?’ after you’ve broken if off, so let the anger subside and then talk rationally with your partner to come to a sensible solution.
Most of all, if you are having trouble in your relationship but aren’t sure whether you can talk to your partner about it, then talk to your friends/family about it first, they can give their opinion on it and help you through your struggle before you take any rash decisions out on your relationship. Never go through things alone, think about your relationship as a car stuck in the snow. If it’s just you driving it, you will drive yourself deeper into the snowdrift, but if you and your partner are pushing the car, there’s much more chance of the car getting out of the snow.
For more relationship articles and tips, click -here- and as always, keep those beautiful eyes on Drop Of Pink!